inspiration?

well, i guess it has been one of those weeks. you know, where you are pretty busy with life and just uninspired to be very creative. i have this desire to have all this important life changing philosophical stuff to say... about all these deep, meaningful thoughts that are constantly passing through my brain (yeah right) but when you dont have a lot of deep, meaningful things to think about or you ignore them to think about the busyness you have to take on, things get kinda hum drum.

i did get a chance to finish a good book the other night (albeit, pretty late) and it had to do with the whole struggle between 'we' i.e. community (soft end) or communism (hard end) vs. 'i' i.e. creative freedoms (soft end) versus selfish gain (hard end). the book (anthem, by ayn rand) comes from a completely opposite upbringing but is really thought provoking.

here was my realization, ayn rand grew up in communist russia and wrote about how true liberation is through the self (communism-- hard end vs. creative freedoms (soft end). i grew up in a complete capitolistic society and am constantly trying to incorporate community into my life (selfish gain -- hard end vs. community -- soft end). interesting. i can understand why she would write soo much about the necessity for personal freedom. i really think if she lived in a society like ours, she would almost write the opposite story... at least i would.

it is a good read, you should read it. about 120 pages, pretty quick. makes you think about how oppressive communist russia really was because community and the 'we' sense of solidarity are really quite powerful, impressive, and honestly... appealing. but the book really shuns a lot of socialist viewpoints for the sake that her experience (guess) was so rigid.

i read about how she feels the individual is the 'god,' and i think that is crap. but, coming from her background, maybe it isn't meant to be *that* strong, maybe the individual (even just a little creative self freedom) is powerful and beautiful.

even though the book was a bit extreme for my socialist tendancies, the end has a great point about using the individual mind instead of relying on the collective. i wish there was more thought about using the heart, which can include some collective yet adding personal creativitly for the ultimate good of both self and society than relying totally on the self mind to conquer all problems.

yikes, i guess i did have a little bit of creative juices in my head, probably doesnt make much sense though.

have a good day.