xmas

had a great christmas... tell more tomorrow.

informational

i am feeling very informational lately. i guess it comes out in the way i talk and even in the way i write. i want to be able to express my 'feelings' better (whatever that means) but i always seem to just relay information.

how do you exactly get around that... i suppose i can, for example, talk about how i 'felt' during an informational piece. ok, lets try it.

----
(informational)
yesterday i went skiing, the snow was awesome but it was really cold. a perfect sunny day that did warm up. i ended up on blacks all day long... i found a great hill with tons of bumps but a really, really smooth edge with about a foot or so of powder. i hit bumps for half the hill, then all powder. my last run was on these soft bump blues that make you skip on your board like crazy, well, i rocked them and didn't skip. a great run to end on.

(informational with feelings)
yesterday was my day off for me and i really needed a break from the stress... so i went skiing. when i woke up, i considered sleeping, but i had to meet phil at 6 so i just got up and after the meeting got the courage to head up to the hills. the first half of the trip i listened to some chill music, cant remember exactly, but my guess would be some reggae i had. the last half i put in some great aesop rock to get me in the mood.

since i have a pass, i got out on the hill right away and went to the chairlift. i haphazardly sat with my friend evan who is a very fast skiier... i went with him and my friend, eric, to a-basin and they made me really scared (edited for mother, i.e. did stupid things on skis)... so that was cool, we caught up a bit and skiied together for a few runs. it was so exhilerating the first run, the snow was awesome, but it was a bit cold. after one run, my body was getting warm though. i was really stressed because there were some loose ends on a closing i had today and i needed to get them tied up, obviously. so i stayed inside for a few minutes after a run or two until they were resolved (it was good because it was warm).

thats when i made my transistion to blacks because i rolled solo and felt like doing bumps. i ended up on blacks all day... i found a great hill with tons of bumps but a really, really smooth edge with about a foot or so of powder. i hit bumps for half the hill, then all powder. i really dont think most of you can fathome what it feels like to glid on powder... its really amazing, honestly. you get this feeling of cloudage and a sense that nothing can hurt because when you fall, it doesn't hurt :) all you want to do is smile and laugh while you glide through the softness.

for four runs, that is what i did, killed myself on bumps then cruised on powder. yes, yes. perfect. my last run was on these soft bump blues that make you skip on your board like crazy, well, i rocked them and didn't skip. i had great training with the big bumps that the little ones were easy and super fun... get little pops while flying down passing tons of boarders and skiiers alike (granted it was a blue :) man,a great run to end on. i ended up exhausted in my car with my super confortable shoes once again (i love the feeling of putting shoes on after where boots all day). cruised home with some fiona apple, what a nice way to travel down the mountain.

-----------------------

ok, so howd i do? was my 'feeling' version good, worth doing, or should i stick to the short and sweet informational version? was the 'felt' version too wordy? not wordy enough? to informational? help me out. i plan to write a little shpiel(sp?) on my new ipod, but would like some critique before hand :)

out.

last week

last week i went snowboarding with elvi and it was the best conditions i have been on in a long time. it was sooo cold last week in denver it scared a lot of people off the hills. we went on thursday and the hill was empty, the wind was nill, and the temp was a warm 20 or so.

it was actually a lot warmer than we thought cause we had to pull a bunch of layers off.

i have been working a ton because i want to and need to. it is good, i feel a lot more productive and things are moving forward even though it can be the slowest time of the year. i am worried i wont have time to get my business plan 2006 in order, but i think next week will be DEAD so i will concentrate on it then.

this week i will probably board again, i might go up to winterpark this time. no one else has tomorrow off, so i might be rolling solo, but that is ok. i dont mind doing that, just ski for a couple hours and chill out a bit, read, relax, think, write... all that good stuff.

simplifing my life is working ok, but still not there. maybe it is just a state of mind really because i do live pretty simply. i dont buy a lot of stuff and i only play with volleyball and music now. if i am really tired i will watch tv, but other than that, it is really quite simple.

i do drive a ton, even to go out with friends and stuff, so i think that might be ultimately what is making it hard for me to feel 'simple.' i need to spend more time in golden. maybe next fall i can get rid of my roomie and set up an office. i am not a big fan of working at home, but if i do it a day or two a week, or a portion of a day everyday, that might help too.

well see,

right now i will be working like a madman and pushing to be 'successful.'

peace.

weekend

well, it was a nice weekend. i had a great time yesterday evening grilling out with my cousins and elvi. it was a nice evening and the chicken was great :) we were going to play cars a bit, but i still haven't dug them up from when i moved (yikes)... we had one deck, but i think we were in the mood to play with more than one... maybe it was just an excuse.

today was a good day, mainly have been working, but felt good to accomplish a bunch and get ready for the week.

now i am off to church.

after church, coffee and more weekly planning. my life will get organized! i am convinced.

i will be mucho busy at work this week and i get to ski (well board) on thursday! yay!

sweet chicago

man, i really miss chicago. just the simple pleasure of taking the el downtown, hearing the soft sounds of the tracks and seeing brick upon brick of beautiful brownstones. as i sit here looking out upon madison and wacker streets all i can think of is my time of past.

dont get me wrong, i love denver and if i ever moved back to the middlewest, it would probably be in wisconsin, but chicago always has a place in my heart.

seriously, this place is beautiful. the idea of living a simple life in complicated chicago really really appeals to me. actually, living a simple life really really sounds appealing to me. just a couple more things i need to take care of before that happens.

how can you not look upon the streets of this gritty city and not fall in love with it. its anonimity(sp?) and crazyness combined. how fabulous.

i guess i am really reflective upon simple lifestyles right now. fires, sweaters, movies, games, curled up, no cares yet struggling, low material ownership, thoughts of God, marriage, reclusion, close friends, cooking, no tv... sounds awesome.

i was at my friend randy and sarah's house and was just envious of their downtown madison apartment with lots of hardwood and built-ins. functional obsolencence, beautiful picture windows, slowness of a sunday night. awesome.

i guess i am in a quiet mood right now :)

ok, ok

so i haven't been that great with updating my blog... but i did get to eat lots of turkey this weekend. that means that everything worked out and all is ok.

beyond the enjoyments of spending quality time relaxing with family and friends, it has been a great weekend to get away from denver for a bit. i haven't had that time alone to think much but i have a couple days of me time in chicago this week so that will make up for it. i look forward to some introspective time again.

the main reason that i haven't updated this site and others is that i kinda fell out of life the last few weeks. i checked out and just worked tons and tons. i wasn't in the mood to do much of anything else (sorry) but thats the truth. sometimes you just get in that mood, and i was there. i am looking forward to this week cause i think it is on the verge of breaking and will break once i get back to town.

i cant promise that i will be a master at this writing stuff, but i am still faithful and writing this and other things in my schedule. i just need to not procrastinate and do it. one of my biggest problems...

so that is fun, right?

anyway i do have time this week to delve more into things but since i got reemed out by everyone about my blog, i thought i would at least send a little update.

rush of posts

introspective:

so, last friday i had a little meeting with my team lead. we usually sit down and chat about business and all that jazz every week or two. regardless, i gave him my quick 20 minute agenda...

what was on that agenda you might ask? well
1. mission, vision, values -- just starting to write this out (so i thought)
2. internet leads and how to market
3. something else i can remember, probably had something do to with real estate. hehehe (anyways, it will become quite apparent that we never made it to 3, nor 2 for that matter)

so we sit down and i give him the agenda and start out by pulling out this article i found on the CIO website about mission, vision, and values. i said i am just getting into it and plan to read the article and start writing some ideas about it all. you know, the 'couple week' plan.

well, it turned into this hour and half discussion about what i believe and what i deserve. come on, really? (well, it was actually awesome, i needed it and will be doing tons of introspection over the next few months)

the crazy thing is we starting talking about perception (our core self vs. our percieved, or viewed by others, self), fears, self-worth... you name it. it was a good ole fashion counseling session about me discovering things about myself i had no idea were there.

here are a couple of highlights.

relationships... how i relate things:
1. i relate lack of modesty to someone that is condescending. hmmm
2. i relate the fact that when someone rejects me, i feel like i let them down. yikes.

fears...
of course i have a fear of rejection (see relationships part 2)
but i really think i have a fear of success. the second fear is much more of a problem than the first. i think for years i have been trying to combat my fear of rejection. and i have made some headway on it... but i truly dont believe that is my major problem... fear of success is.

anyway, i have to think about this crap for a while. i think i am getting somewhere. well, i might actually be maturing to my age again. this next year i turn 30 and i might actually start acting 30. what a concept.

oh, chicago made me younger. i lost (or didnt mature) for close to 4 years while i was in chicago. that is funny to me. i think i was more mature in high school than i was 3 years ago.

what does all this mean?

so i now have another assignment... before i can even start working on mission, vision, and values, i have to figure out what i truly believe (me, me, me, not others) and what i truly deserve.

i came up with a couple things.. but by tomorrow i will have a bunch more.

I believe in/that...
- nothing is a handout
- work is neccessary for a return
- i am a spiritual being that is driven by something bigger than me (jesus)

I deserve ...
- being compensated well when going a good job

hmmm. its a start.

anyway, i really recommend you all do this. i think it is important for every individual to come up with a mission, vision, values statement that describes who you are. i will post it when it is done.

start with what you believe and deserve. that pricks at the core. then you can extrapolate that to your 'big why' -- what you truly feel is driving you as a person. then translate that to a couple pieces of paper and keep it close. maybe you will discover you are in the wrong job, location... but i truly believe it will help you discover that you have made tons and tons of right decisions because your intuition is ultimately who you are, right?

i am who i am.

halloween again

ok, i guess i get to re-live the weekend once again. that is fine cause it was pretty fun.

so friday night was a fun night, i actually was able to dj at my friends party. it was pretty tough, a lot more difficult than my previous dj'ing experiences. mostly because these people i did not know and i did not know their music. i heard it went well enough, so that is good. it always seems like i dont have the music people request, but does anybody? how many times at a wedding or a party do you want to hear that one song and they dont have it. well that happens to the best of us.

since i didn't have my true costume quite ready, i just quickly dressed up as an overdone rapper. that is pretty easy for me since i have the clothes and know the attitude :)

saturday rolled around and i did nothing much than recover. the night was quite long and quite late. fun, yes, but took a toll on my maximizing saturday. ahhh well, i guess i just went to work and did that for a couple hours then ran off to my house to relax. my friend, joe, convinced me to go to his house for a little gathering of folk. he wanted me to control the music, but i was done with that :) so i just showed up in my grubs and chatted with folk for an hour or two then went home. ahh sweet sleep.

so sunday rolled around and i had a big day infront of me. i told a bunch of folk that i was going to have a bbq at the house, costumes and all. that means i spent the morning preparing for it and then the rest of day entertaining and cooking and all that stuff that is required to host a bbq. it takes lots of work, but was definitely fun.

oh, i dressed up as peewee herman. cant quite do the character, so i kept quiet, did a little 'tequila dance' and kept cooking. i thought i could pull off a little peewee impersonation, but alas, i am not that talented :) might be a good thing though, peewee is kinda scary.

anyway, i spent the rest of the week working and catching up with reality. i dressed up as myself, mainly and went out and lived.

this weekend, i am just working. i am done for the day... about to do some dinner and a movie (i think i will watch saw II) and call it a saturday. tomorrow i will be working all day, do a little open house and then hit up my church.

after skipping church last weekend (bbq) i am looking forward to it again, kinda miss it.

later y'all

that's weird

so,

i wrote up a pretty post about my festivities last weekend... it is not here. hmmm, that is too bad.

anyway, that means i have to redo it. i have time today.

ericj.

a new leaf... again

ok, ok, so i am not the greatest at blogging. i started out well but lost it. i am determined to get it back (hang in there for me :) )

early blog life:
my life was much simpler, enjoyed spending time writing the blog and would actually spend time during the day to write. it was nice.

current blog life:
now i push everything to the evening, well, that just doesnot work for me. i always have a hard time doing these little things i enjoy late at night. not because i cant or because i dont want to, but often times because i just forget. so when life gets a little crazy (coaching), other things fall aside.

today and future blog life:
i had a revolutionary change at work which involves this thing called the 80/20 rule. essentially, 20% of what you do produces 80% of your goals/outcome/finances. so we started breaking our responsibilities down to whats important and being accountable to those 20% things. the other 80% will happen when they need to, but we NEED to get the 20% done.

so how you i apply that to personal life... well, i have started. this 20% thing is mainly for business, but our scheduling and accountability has spread a bit to personal life as well, because with real estate, personal life is very key to have in balance.

so, i put the blog on my personal goals, so i am going to start scheduling time for it. might be early, might be late. but it will start happening again. which is cool

that is my bit and i find i really like to start paragraphs with 'so', or 'i'... they're both nice.

more substance later.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

yep,

i woke up this morning and it was a nice winter wonderland outside. most of it has melted by my house already :( but denver proper received about 4 inches of snow. breckenridge was able to capture 18 inches of goodness.

check out the fab pics.

i finished ishmael so ill write about that later...

and more 

and more 

and more 

and more 

more 

It snowed!!! 

Weak update

So I thought I was going to be home early enough tonight to get a little laundry and what not taken care of tonight... but I ended staying at the cousins house till late.

I did end up finishing Ishmeal this weekend, which was good. It ended up being a pretty good book overall but ended up becoming pretty weak at the end. It was quite thought provoking with a completely different wayto think about how we humans play in the realm og the World. The big revelation was that humans strayed from their true evolved destiny of being part oof the community of life and is on th path of destruction because we want to control the earth and no longer be subject to the gods. I will elaborate more as it falls into placeM but for nowM that is what you get..

Tird so I am off to bed. Should be more frequent in the future.

Tonight

I'll write something tonight.

yeah.

mary, you always get me...

so this haunting feeling never has been haunting enough for me to actually sit down and write something 'meaningful.' well i received a very pleasant unsuspecting call from miss mary b. we were able to briefly catch up with each other, yell at each other for not visiting more often and i, of course me only, got a good speaken to about my lack of blogness. so, i am officially guilted into writing something 'meaningful.'

i have had a lot of stuff on my mind, like coaching, work, intentional community, existentialism, thanksgiving, girls, work, music... you name it. clutter, sweet clutter. lets go...

coaching:
soo fun. high school girls are very different (peace to the pollasch's for working with them these years). i know they want to learn and do their best but they also are way way lazy and have to get their way. right now we are just working really hard at learning some fundamentals that were not taught in previous years so it will be interesting to see if they start winning games. they have heart, a bit of talent, but no team skills and their rotational offense and defense is kicking their butts. also the setters (i am a little particular) are not stepping up. yikes

work:
what can i say about this, i am always trying to get a deal. i have will be getting a listing here ina couple of weeks, so that is tres exciting. but i need more buyers and sellers. i am way excited for my business to take off, but i just havent had that 'hit the pavement' attitude i think i need.

intentional community:
i want it. not only that, i want a mentor. my ideal week would be to interact with an intentional community of committed men who are encouraging each other to pusue God. i mean really pursue. of course their would be lots of running and hiking and drinking and smoking (pipes) and eating and biking... but it would all be surrounded by the desire to encourage each other. yeah, that sounds awesome. i also want a mentor who is beyond a peer level, my progress has been poor.

existentialism:
so i am reading this awesome book called "Ishmael." it is kicking my butt and allowing me to think more about why God created us the way we did. It is a very interesting and a bit simplistic view that man (civilized) is breaking the 'law of community life' and is doomed towards destruction. the way we should live is in complete balance with our wonderful earth and not trying to be in control of it. yep, that means going back to becoming wanderers and only using what we need (a big proponent of, but i still horde too much). anyway, good theory about our pursuit towards utopia, our destructive nature based on a assumed flawness in humans, and what it would look like to be in balance with the world. hmmmm.

thanksgiving:
by far my favorite holiday. i am soo excited to experience the smells, tastes, conversations, le tigre, crafts, games, family, fun, fun, fun. can't wait. making plans in my head. yay!

girls:
humpf. dont think i am going to go there right now... but they are on my mind (yikes, my singleness i catching up to me) desire a relationship, just dont want to process. word.

work:
always on my mind... where i am going to get that next deal.

music:
music has always been a big part of my life. i love to research it, listen to it, know it, listen to it, maybe one day produce it a bit. my goal is to slowly learn the 'behind the scenes' of music and dig in from there. i dont know a single soul in the music arena but will be up for learning. i will probably get involved in my church somehow with music. hopefully.

so i am done for now. brief yes, but i have a lot on my mind.

gotta hussle. peace