first off, my blogging is quite horrible. i understand that but really do make an effort to impress upon people out there that i have the focus to provide tidbits of life, info, and mind-dumps on a somewhat regular basis. i think that sentance was a run-on... which means that if you read it twice to 'get it,' dont worry, it's normal.
what i have discovered is that my mind works very situational. extremely situational. i have been able to compartmentalize(sp?) my thoughts so my environment is in direct control of my thoughts.
that means that i have groups of thoughts that 'come out' when the situation or surrounds are ripe for them... and if it is not, it is hard for me to do so.
that is why i love and hate coffee houses.
to me, the coffee house is the Premier locale in which my most philosophical thoughts come alive. you name it, God, politics, life, existentialism, how things work... those things flourish. my best conversations are over coffee and some overpriced sweet item. but to me, that is worth the costs. the breeding ground for rich thoughts stews at these indie shops scattered throughout the land.
the problem is that i do not have the discipline to spend the appropriate times at these locations to flourish my 'creative' thoughts and keep them happy. i am often too tired from the grind to really get excited to get to a shop and live. the other problem is that coffee houses that are open when my i have the slight chance to go are a great distance away from my sleeping quarters.
the dilemna is to buck up and get out, do my thinking, reading, and writing (which, by the way, is where most of my decent blog entries come from) or watch the boob-tube to decompress and slough off to bed feeling crappy about not contributing to life but contributing to the things that i despise (like t.v., media, current hype).
because my slacky patterns are in place, my home in Golden is now soley able to shove my thoughts into a state of hibernation and all i can do at home is nothing.
my office is nice because my mind is focused, but it is often distracted on the to-dos of the day/week/month and i cant sit and focus on philosophy too long.
what i need to do is accomplish my dreams really quick because one of them is to provide a coffee house open really, really late (and early) really close to my home. so, i am looking for individuals that might be open to catering my needs close to my house fulfilling my requests even if it is a losing business to them (because i do not have the time nor capitol to start one myself).
being a realist gives me the opportunity to laugh at my self and my thoughts and just focus on solving my dilemna.
anyway, i am losing focus because i am at work... hopefully you were able to follow this entry a bit.